If this is heart ache then I would rather have heart burn.
The door closes and your eyes begin to swell almost at an instant
You try to convince yourself that this is alright, that you are alright
It is too late at this point, the swelling has released rushing rivers
You find yourself short of breath no matter how hard you try to just
Breathe
In
Out
Faster and faster
Your breaths become panic and your panic becomes pain
Each breath you take become harder and harder, each hurting more than the
Last
You are choking on air and drowning in the salty rivers, you forgot to pack your floaties
You try to hold onto the memories, those moments of happiness, but darkness prevails
Every happy thought is turned around on itself
In every powerful memory he replaces you and she seems happier that way
Your stomach begins to twist and turn, you feel sicker than you have ever felt
Thoughts of them smiling, laughing, holding each other in warm embrace, kissing
Loving
Plague you until you begin to dry heave, slowly, painfully
This time you made the mistake of eating, the heaving does not stay dry for long
How pathetic of a grown man you have become, not even able to control your emotions
You curl up in a ball by the door and chain smoke, because it is the only thing that is
Holding you together
Your heart rate increases, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster
Your chest begins to tighten, crushing your insides
Under all this pressure your heart feels like it is ripping itself apart and exploding
All at the same time
This is what it feels like when your heart is breaking
How much more of this can you take?
How many more times can your heart endure this until it is
Broken
For
Good
Until you can’t mend the pieces
Until you run away, away from being open and feeling
Towards anger and resentment
Nothing has ever hurt you this much in your life
Nothing has ever been so worth feeling this way
You will try
You will suffer
You will sacrifice
Until there is nothing left of you
Until you are broken and empty
Until every feeling inside has died
Until you are the only one, or no one
Because it is worth it
Because love is worth it
Maybe you can’t appreciate what it means to win, until you have experienced what it
Means to lose
I'm 25 years old always lost and confused without a clue and wouldn't want it any other way.
